All human interactions have an element of a fight for power in it if you look at them closely. If it is greeting somebody (or not) when walking past, shaking hands at a meeting or who goes first in traffic.
Fight for power
These little fights serve only one thing: our monkey-mind. When we think we have won we score a point and the monkey can feel a little better about its self and feels a bit safer (until the next interaction). When we lose, we lose a point and the monkey is more scared for a while. You will feel this as an extra buildup of tension inside. We don’t do it on purpose or realize it exactly when it happens but it is why human interaction is sometimes more difficult than it should be at first glance. We are afraid of not ‘winning’ and not scoring the points but instead losing and are afraid of the unrest that will follow.
Nothing to win
If we think about what happens on this monkey-mind level it is indeed very superficial; we don’t really ‘win’ anything. Although it might feel a bit safer to be better than the other it has no guaranty whatsoever for your safety. It is an illusion. It is an old strategy that might have worked when people were living in small groups and a higher place in the group hierarchy would mean better living conditions. But in our modern cities the majority of the people we meet are not part of our ‘group’ and have little influence on our living circumstances. The ‘winner’ is supposed to be ‘stronger’ but is this true? Is the one who doesn’t greet or forcefully takes his place indeed higher ranked than we ? Or does it take more strength to gracefullly step aside and let’s others go first?
I believe the scariest people are the rudest. If you have enough inner strength you do not have the need to feed the monkey and score a few points. Try to be the ‘weakest’ in your next encounter with another human being. Give precedence, step aside with a bow and enjoy the gratitude in their eyes. You will feel great !
Develop inner strength, be modest,
That is the way
Shamon
